Evil Porpoise

Evil porpoises (Phocoena scelus) are able to take anything and use it to further their plans. These devilish cetaceans are innovative when it comes to finding bad purposes for good things.

Part of the reason evil porpoises are so insidious is that they are masquerade so well as their cousins, intended porpoises (Phocoena intendo). Evil porpoises are red (see photo above) while intended porpoises are blue. However, underwater they look quite similar, with only the horns giving away the evil porpoises.

Extreme efforts by the federal government have reduced the evil porpoise population from 10,000 in 1980 to around 200 today. However, evil porpoises are still found in large bodies of salt water, especially near boats and other watercraft.

Because of this reduction in population levels, the public has begun to believe that evil porpoises are merely myth. As a result, phrases such as "used for evil purposes" have become cliche. The original phrase, however, is "used for evil porpoises."

If you ever encounter an evil porpoise, DO NOT APPROACH, as they are very dangerous. Leave the area immediately and contact either the Coast Guard or your local Animal Control. They are trained to deal with these devious animals.